I Wrote About This

"Do I really want to write about this?" I ask that every time I write a blog post nowadays. Who will see it? What will they think? There are plenty of posts I've started and abandoned due to some fear of the answer to those questions. But tonight, I'm going to go ahead and push forward. The overnite is an ideal environment for emotions to brew, stew, and augment. Knowing this, I was (and still am) inclined to smother any dangerous thoughts (related to sadness, worry, etc.) before they can escalate to a full-on reaction. Imagine: disaster strikes during your workday. You're upset. You need to talk to a friend. Except... when you look down at your phone, you realize there's no one in your contact list who's plausibly awake. You check Gchat and your two friends living abroad are online, only they're idle or away. Not to mention, the coworkers with whom you share an intimate workspace are noticing your huffs and puffs and fidgeting. You wonder if today will be the day they see you cry.

This scenario hasn't happened to me, but I fear(ed) it. And now, with some time on days, the idea of it is less threatening. But as it turns out, avoiding situations of troubling emotions can be quite precarious. I, for instance, postponed an event, and -- big surprise! --  it caught up with me anyway. SPOILER ALERT: If you don't know where I'm going with this, you will after this quote from Dan Savage: "Every relationship you are in will fail, until one doesn't."

The end of my almost 2-year relationship came yesterday (although, in reality, perhaps a bit earlier). I remember in college sometimes regretting time I wasted on things that ended. I don't feel that way this time, though I wonder if I mistakenly waited for it to "happen" rather than just getting it over with when I felt like it wasn't good anymore. But who wants to deal with the aftermath of anything in the isolation of overnite?

So, a conversation that should of happened much earlier was postponed. And now, it has happened. Was it a good choice to put it off? Well, I was able to talk with friends on the phone. One came to my apartment to eat pizza and watch some reality tv. Afterwards, instead of pulling myself together and going into work, I got into bed with my roll of toilet paper (the poor man's Kleenex) and I went to sleep knowing things would be brighter in the morning. At this moment, I'd say putting it off was well worth it.

The Last 2 Months, In Summary

Hello! Almost 2 months have gone by since writing a real post. (Let's face it. The last one was basically self-plagiarism, if that can be a thing.) I can barely remember what I've been up to without consulting my Google Calendar. So I looked back over the past few weeks, and man, it's been busy.

In May, I went up to Long Beach Island, NJ for a weekend retreat. I attended the SweetLife Festival, where I donned rain pants, jacket, and beanie to see Crystal Castles' 20-minute set (also, other less exciting bands). I saw The Antlers and Paul Simon in concert. I saw the Bridesmaids at the movies. At work, I produced a piece on Death Cab for Cutie's new album, Codes and Keys (after interviewing Ben Gibbard and Chris Walla in May.)

In June, I saw The Lonely Forest/Death Cab for Cutie, Smith Westerns/Yeasayer, and Bahamas/Noah & the Whale in concert. I saw my second Woody Allen movie ever, Midnight in Paris -- much better than 2003's Anything Else. I saw adventure photographer Jimmy Chin speak at National Geographic HQ and was inspired to start climbing again. Confession: I have still not gone climbing since that surge of inspiration. I interviewed Justin Vernon of Bon Iver and produced this piece on his new self-titled release. And to round out a great month, I travelled to Duxbury, MA for a mini-reunion weekend of eating, walking, sitting, and more eating. Oh, and of course we stopped by a photo store in Plymouth to take some authentic Pilgrim photos.

Also in the past two months, I stayed awake for 24 hours or more on four separate occasions. I revisited my guitar and finally donned the running shoes again. I begrudgingly joined the world of smart phones after my phone died. And, to preempt the imminent death of my beat-up Schwinn, I purchased a new bike.

Maybe that's not even busy for the average person?

The big news, though, is my return to DAYS after 9 months working nights! I'm already fantasizing about happy hours, dinners with friends, and Sunday afternoons. But a part of me will also miss the overnite: the people, the built-in excuse to do my own thing at all times, and my midday dog park excursions with Amos. Am I still socially competent enough to function during the day? We'll find out. Hopefully more posts in the future.