I should be going out right now to check out some live music at LSE from student acts and bands. Only 50 pence. But I've been to and from LSE twice today already. Am I unwarranted in my laziness? The trip is like a half-hour ordeal each way. I should go, right? Also, I will have to be energetic and spirited, because I won't know a single person there. And then I'll need a pint or half-pint to loosen up or at least appear loosened up. I wonder if people go there knowing people or what. Hmm. I could go any time from now until 11. The question is... is it worth it to go, let it be a failure, and come back? THAT is the question. That sounds pessimistic, but we're talking worst case scenarios. On the plus side, there's music. Going to watch music alone is okay. I like music.
I feel a little off today. I should point out that I have been here now for 17 days now (I just counted), and I'm not sure what to think about my social progress. I think being here in itself is a challenging experience, good for me to toughen up. As I predicted, it's more alone time than I'd have at Georgetown. There's no one here to just call and be with. Just be with, just exist alongside. You know how you study with someone in a place just so once in a while, you can point out something interesting that you read? Or you can take a study break with that person? I miss that about Georgetown. It's me, myself, and I a lot of the time and being a pseudo-only child, it's not all that new, but still not entirely amazing.
I think I miss having girl-friends, my girl-friends. The Georgetown crew here is all guys and my one girl-friend was struck with a herpes zoster infection of her auditory nerve and is now returning home for the semester. Sigh. In fact, my cell phone is practically girl-less. I have a friend's number in Spain, Andrea's (who's returning to Hong Kong in a few days), and my aunt's. The small girly side of me is going extinct as I fail to actually make girl-friends. I'm trying to see where I fail here. Am I failing? I don't know. I don't see fellow Hoyas racking up friends. But I don't know.
I can't tell if this is sadness or loneliness or what. I see people. I do things. I go out. I explore. Not one tear has been shed since being here. What is it? I feel like I should be able to fix something and be pro-active about the situation. Alright. In the midst of writing this, I think I've decided to go to LSE. I can be mysterious and solitary in a corner if I must, and I can be social and fun if that's an option. Cool.
Edit: So this is me post LSE Live Music. The music scene at LSE is much more alive than that of Georgetown. People are just more willing to take risks or just have fun. I do, however, think there's a limit on how many crowd-pleasing covers one group can do. One male duo played only ones they knew the crowd would definitely know and respond to. I'm all for reeling them in with a witty or fun pick, but then I think you should go out on a limb. This group started off with "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias which segued nicely into "How To Save a Life" by The Fray. I suppose "Cute Without the 'E' (Cut From the Team)" by Taking Back Sunday was their risk, but they continued with "Cannonball" by Damien Rice, and then a little bit of "I Want It That Way" by BSB and "Hit Me Baby (One More Time)" by Britney Spears. Ok, we get it. You're funny. Move on. There was another band that played "Hey-Oh" by RHCP, "Stockholm Syndrome" by Muse (fun to hear for the first time in a while), and strangely "Bullet in the Head" by RATM. The singer was a girl, a girly one, so when I first heard the beginning of "Bullet in the Head," I wasn't sure what to expect. But it was fun. There was another girl with a good voice and mediocre songs, BUT she had the guts to perform them and that was respectable; she ended with Dolly Parton's "Jolene."
I'm glad I went overall, but I didn't say a word to anyone except the bartender when I got my beer. Not the most social place, since it was loud and everyone knew everyone or was a friend of someone performing. But it wasn't that awkward NOT to know anyone.